


Afterburn

by rehabcabin (sansybones), withtheworms



Series: Rehab Cabin DLC [10]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Rehab cabin, gonna just abbreviate that as "tragic sansby" from now on, it's sansby but they're terrible for each other and grillby is a jerk, memory problems, sans is a mess, tragic sansby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 15:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7719862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansybones/pseuds/rehabcabin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/withtheworms/pseuds/withtheworms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sans’ experiences with Resets made it difficult for him to adjust to a Post-Pacifist future, and so he has moved with his brother Papyrus to an isolated cabin to focus on his recovery. Things were stable... until he came. Will the unexpected visit (and sudden departure) from Grillby, Sans’ ex, undo all of their progress?</p><p>Set immediately after "Gather ‘Round the Bonefire." <3 Sansy</p>
            </blockquote>





	Afterburn

 

_Sorry._

_Sorry? Was that all he had to say?_ Papyrus picked up the card from the kitchen table and flipped it over. _Yep, Sorry. That's all._ He sighed and put it back down on the table. Should he leave it, letting Grillby's pathetic gesture speak for itself? Should he hide it? Should he hand it to Sans, breaking the news gently? Papyrus decided to take the card, folding it neatly in half and placing it in the pocket of his vest. _If he asks about him,_ he decided, _I'll show him._

He knew it was going to be a bad day.

Papyrus wasn't fooled when Sans bounded down the stairs with a cheerful demeanor. He watched him carefully throughout breakfast as Sans gregariously laid out the day's plans - harvesting some more of those peas, weeding the overgrown clover, zucchini almost ripe now... he breezed through his morning routine and was in the garden by ten. Papyrus could barely concentrate on his own chores, checking on his brother every hour - multiple times per hour - as Sans went about tending the garden.

It was half past two in the afternoon when Sans disappeared.

Papyrus did a quick survey of the premises but he knew he wouldn't find him there. The pond, the shed, the hill, his room, the cellar, the roof... all the casual hiding places were lacking in short skeletons. It wasn't a casual day.

Papyrus sped down the only road that connected them to the wider world. He was almost three-quarters of the way to town when some instinct pulled at him to turn around and try the other direction. He didn't get much occasion to drive quickly, but he was grateful now that he could. He sped back past their property and eventually found Sans walking slowly up the road, about four miles from their driveway entrance.

Papyrus slowed the vehicle to a crawl and pulled up alongside Sans, who didn't change his steady marching pace.

"Hey, Paps," Sans greeted his brother without moving his eyes from a spot on the road a few paces ahead.

"Hello, Brother," Papyrus leaned an elbow on the doorframe, "What is up?"

"Walkin' the dog."

"Okayyyy," Papyrus drawled, his gloved hands drumming on the steering wheel, "Where is she?"

Sans stopped suddenly. He looked around and seemed genuinely surprised when his white, fluffy, sometimes-companion was nowhere in sight. He shrugged and resumed his marching pace, saying nothing.

Papyrus continued to lead the car at a crawl beside him. It was almost a crime to drive the car this slowly, but he didn't want the noise of the turning wheels to drown out the birdsong that echoed through the forest.

"Let's head home," Papyrus offered, after a time.

"Let's _not_ ," Sans shot back, darkly, without looking at his brother. Sans seemed to realize it was unnecessarily harsh and he glanced back at Papyrus, remorsefully. "N-not yet."

They followed the road, an asphalt scar through a forest that seemed to stretch on forever in every direction. Fifteen minutes. Twenty minutes. Then without a word Sans abruptly dropped his pace to step behind the advancing car, and climbed into the passenger seat. He fastened in, and Papyrus accelerated, continuing in the direction Sans had been headed. Away from the cabin. Away from the nearest town. Away, away.

Darkness crept in and Papyrus closed the roof of the convertible so his brother could ride comfortably without needing to keep a paranoid grip on his favourite toque. Sans leaned his forehead against the window of the car, and Papyrus could see the reflection of his faint eyelights as they watched the trees speeding past. The lonely one-lane road joined a two-lane road and Papyrus hung a right turn without soliciting his brother for a destination. They drove an hour, two hours... eventually Papyrus noticed that Sans had fallen asleep, still curled against the doorframe. He didn't wake him, and he didn't stop. He didn't mind driving.

Another road, a highway, a turnoff, a curving lane, and then finally Papyrus parked. Sans only woke when Papyrus' door slammed shut behind him.

Sans trudged up the dark embankment and clambered on top of the giant piece of driftwood to sit beside his brother. They watched the sea as the black waves crested and then crashed into the shore. _Crash, crash, crash, crash_. Endless, glistening stars twinkled above. It was all so gigantic, all this open space and no one there to bother them. It was a perfect night... except that it was not. Papyrus reached a long, lanky arm around his brother, and squeezed him tightly. Sans didn't resist.

Sans fell asleep again on the drive home, and Papyrus carried him to his bed.

***

The next day was an okay day, Sans got through it.

***

The day after was touch-and-go. He didn't disappear, but Papyrus found him asleep in the garden. He let it slide, but when Sans didn't even come in for dinner, he went out to the garden to sit with him.

"I really blew it, this time," Sans' voice croaked. He hadn't breathed a word in hours.

"You didn't," Papyrus reassured him.

The parsley was beginning to wilt.

***

The next morning, Papyrus noticed as Sans lazily sloshed the teabag into his mug.

"What's your plan this morning, brother?"

"Dunno," Sans stuffed a dry piece of toast into his mouth, "Maybe some readin'. If I'm lucky I'll get a nap in, heh. Thinkin' of headin' over to Grillby's for a burger, I haven't had one in awhile."

Papyrus' mouth drew into a stern line, "There's no Grillby's up here."

Sans glanced up at his brother, confused. Papyrus tried to steady him with a caring gaze, trying to remind him of their new lives, that it was all going in one direction and that all of it - everything - was permanent, but that was _okay_. He crammed all of it into a practiced stare, and Sans did manage to pick up on it after a moment.

"Hehe. 'Course, what was I thinkin'... sorry bro. Can we make burgers tomorrow...?"

It was a bad day.

First Papyrus found Sans on the roof and he reminded him that without water the garden might start to seriously suffer. Then, he found the hose left on, a sizable puddle drowning out a row of plants. Sans was nowhere to be found. A text message from an informant in town let him know his brother had been spotted.

The town's bar was a dive, but at least the town was small enough to have accepted the skeletons without too much trouble. Papyrus stepped inside the darkened space and the barkeep - a kind older woman named Louise - cast him a knowing nod. Sans was huddled in the farthest corner beneath a macabre collection of taxidermied animal heads. Papyrus wasn't sure how many pints were in him already, but the one in front of him was a two-thirds gone. He quietly lifted a nearby chair and joined Sans at the corner table. He gestured, and Louise brought him a tall glass of milk.

Sans didn't look at his brother.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Papyrus offered.

"Talk about _what_ ," Sans' eyes were glazed over.

"Grillby."

A complicated expression flashed across Sans' face. Anger, heartbreak, shame, longing... he poured back the remainder of the pint before his brother could stop him.

" _No_ ," Sans motioned for another pint, but Papyrus gestured to cancel the order.

"Sans, when I learned about the Resets, it was overwhelming. Even for me, and I--"

"Paps, it doesn't _matter_ ," Sans turned to glare at his brother. "So he _left_ , so what. I'd leave too. I don't care."

"I'm sorry brother," Papyrus watched him sympathetically, "but I don't believe you."

"I'm never going to have it. Not with Grillby not with... _anyone_. I'm never going to escape _this_ ," Sans gestured vaguely to indicate his entire being, "This... _being a mess-ness_."

"Sans, that isn't true. We're making great progress and--"

"It doesn't matter," Sans mumbled.

Papyrus drove him home, but had to leave him staring at the fireplace in the living room. He was too stubborn to go to bed properly tonight, and Papyrus was too tired to fight about it anymore.

***

Sans did eventually go to bed. He went to bed with such conviction that morning came and went and he refused to leave the sanctuary of his bedcovers. Papyrus tried every trick he had - special breakfasts, coaxing, pleading, guilt, threats... nothing would rouse him. Eventually Papyrus decided that all he could do was crawl onto the bed and stay with him. Sans' stubbornness was only out-matched by his own, and if his continuous presence was the only way to demonstrate that he did matter, that someone _did care_ , well, that's what he would do.

"You don't miss it at all," Sans practically whimpered, after a series of quiet hours.

"Miss what?"

"Before. Underground."

"I'm nostalgic for it," Papyrus admitted, "But... it wasn't a fun time, Sans. You were unhappy, we were all trapped, we barely had anything..."

"It made sense," Sans lamented.

Papyrus missed his scheduled recording time, and so his weekly upload to the channel was late. Before he could send a message to his viewers apologizing for the delay, he discovered a string of concerned messages from Mettaton. He smiled, and held onto that warmth as he curled next to his brother, insisting on continuing his supportive vigil through the night.

It was a bad day, one of the worst, and it was barely a day at all.

***

There were a few good days. Sans was a bit sad to discover that, due to the absence of his care and attention, a few plants had wilted beyond recovery. The zucchinis had stunted, but Papyrus promised that he would make do - he would have enough to make at least one loaf of zucchini bread. Sans held it together, and it was more or less alright.

That is...  until Papyrus found Sans had walked into the pond. He'd just stopped by Sans' bedroom on a whim late that night and discovered he was missing. It was bitterly cold by that time, but Papyrus didn't stop to dress himself beyond the light slippers and pajama pants. He found his brother up to his waist in the pond and staring up at the sky. Papyrus wondered with dread whether he had intended to walk fully in, with finality. _How long would it have taken to find him?_ Papyrus shuddered. Sans seemed to snap out of it when he realized Papyrus was there. He sloshed out of the pond and took Papyrus in a sopping wet bear hug. It froze Papyrus instantly to the _bone_ but it was worth it to have him out of that damn pond.

"Jus' want one more chance," Sans sobbed. "I could do it, I know I could... jus' one more."

He stank of whiskey but the bottle was nowhere to be found. Papyrus swore that he would root out and destroy that last remaining stash, and he'd have to talk to the grocer about selling him any more on the sly. He led his brother back to bed.

Papyrus smoked a whole cigarette before he turned in himself.  

 _Patience_ , he told himself as he dragged deeply. He was shaking, but he wasn't sure whether it was because he was so cold, or so afraid. He watched the smoke float up towards the waning moon. _It's stabilizing, it is. He'll get through it. We'll get through it._

***

After that was a solid, decent week. Papyrus was beginning to hope Sans was finding his footing again.

***

Sans wandered into the kitchen in the early afternoon, obviously hunting for something to serve as lunch. Papyrus sat at the kitchen table, reading scraps of the heavy Sunday paper that he had delivered from the city once a week. He held a mug of tea expectantly in front of his jaw, just waiting for it to cool a _bit_ more, and he ignored the scraping and clambering noises of Sans hunting through the cupboards. He'd find something eventually, and Sans preferred to manage his own lunches.

"Hey, bro, you seen Grillby? I finally found some coffee, hehehe he's been real cranky without it."

Papyrus gently lowered the mug back down to the table and looked over his shoulder to his brother. "Grillby isn't here, Sans."

Sans hopped off the counter, chuckling, "Heh, what? He was _just here_ \--"

Papyrus paused, hoping that the silence would dispel a casual tone. He delivered his next words with great care. "Grillby left. Quite awhile ago."

The cheer drained from Sans' face, although he maintained the facade of his grin.  Papyrus could tell he was processing this, sifting through a confusing jumble of memories. Realization dawned and his grin finally faltered slightly, and Sans averted his gaze down to the floor. "He left."

Papyrus nodded gently.

The kitchen was quiet. Sans studied the floor, and Papyrus studied him.

"Grillby came, but then he left," Sans repeated the sequence, as if to pin it to reality.

"Yes."

Long moments of silence stretched between them like draining molasses.

"And he won't be back unless he... _comes back_ ," Sans concluded, after a time.

"That's right," Papyrus confirmed, quietly.  His heart ached.

Sans leaned back against the counter and folded his arms. He seemed determined to memorize every speck and imperfection on that random floor tile, and Papyrus sat patiently, observing him as he did. The day was turning for the worse, he could tell, but Sans needed his own time to work through this. After several minutes Papyrus returned to his paper-- not due to disinterest, but rather hoping to give Sans a measure of privacy with his thoughts.

"...I'm not an idiot," Sans' voice hitched over the words when he finally broke the silence. "I get how time _works_ , I mean... it's obvious. I just... it worked _different_ for awhile and now--"

Papyrus pushed away from the table and instantly closed the distance between them, taking the short, rattling frame of his brother into a tight hug. "I _know_ , Sans."

"I'm not an _idiot_ ," Sans repeated. He was shaking, and he clung close to his brother for stability, as if Papyrus was the only true thing in this wild, spinning world.

"I know you're not," Papyrus held him tight and stroked his brother's cranium reassuringly. "It's okay."

It was then that Papyrus realized he'd need reinforcements.


End file.
